虚無 (Kyomu) – Nothingness
from Empty MERMAiD single.
——
I’ve been hesitating all this while, but
My heart wavers with each touch, “love” is so ridiculous
Every time the number of experiences increase
I regret, thinking “it shouldn’t have been like this”, but it stains and becomes me
This fragile reality I knew through abandoning all
We touch, we overlap
But the only one I trust is myself
At the corner of the path I follow, I do the folk dance with someone tonight
In this blurred, lost city, I hum the song of loneliness
It doesn’t match, that too-pretty name my mother left to me that I’d forgotten
With no place to return to, I’m fine with being alone
Fixing my tied-up hair
With a sweet voice and wagging tail, I invite a “time waster”
In this night, when one more lie accumulates
I down the awareness and of sin and retorts like a cocktail
Plans of the future which we were all equally born with
I hate them, I hate them
Because I can only be myself
Drenched in thunderstorms, surrounded by exhaust, I’ve found my stance
The dripping raindrops mix gently with tears
Even if I disappear now, I’m sure nobody will notice
We’ll all be alone someday, so I’ll just go with it
This period of tragedy repeated countless times
Slowly, my heart cracked
The scattered fragments, yes, to protect them, even getting hurt doesn’t hurt anymore
Nobody is allowed to come into my territory again
At the corner of the path I follow, a passing folk dance
Turning my back on the too-bright sun, I walk on again today
Even if a prince comes for me someday with glass slippers
Unfortunately, it’s too late, I’m already fine with being alone
——
ROOMAJI
Sakki made chuucho shiteta no ni
Fureta teido de yureru kokoro “ai” nante bakabakashii
Hitotsu keiken ga fueru tabi ni
“Konna hazu ja” to kuyanda kedo shimi tsuite kuse ni naru
Subete yudanete wa shitta moroi genjitsu
Naderaretemo kasanattemo
Atashi wa atashi shika shinjinai
Nazoru hodou magari kado de konya dareka to fooku dansu
Burari samayou machi kodoku no uta wo kuchizusamu
Suretenai yo kirei sugita haha yuzuri no namae sae mo wasureta no yo
Kaeru basho nado nai kara hitori de ii
Matotta kenami wo totonoete
Amai koe to yurasu shippo de sasou no wa “hima tsubushi”
Mata hitotsu uso ga fueta yoru wa
Tsumi no ishiki to kuchigotae wo kakuteru ni shite nomi hosu
Hitoshiku motte umareta hazu no miraizu
Urandemo urandemo
Atashi wa atashi de shika nai kara
Raiu ni utare haiki ni mamire mitsuketa atashi no sutansu
Tsutau amatsubu ga namida wo sotto magirawasu
Atashi ga ima kieta to shitemo kitto daremo kizukanai wa
Itsuka wa douse hitori ni narunda shi kiraku de ii
Nandomo kuri kaeshita higeki no piriodo
Sukoshi zutsu hibi wareta kokoro
Maki chirasu hahen sou, mamoru tame kizutsuku no wa mou tsurai ja nai
Dare hitori kore ijou atashi no teritorii koenaide
Nazoru hodou magari kado de toori sugari no fooku dansu
Mabushi sugiru taiyou se wo muke kyou mo aruki dasu
Garasu no kutsu tadori itsuka ouji-sama ga mukae ni kitemo
Oso sugita wa ainiku ne atashi wa mou hitori de ii
——
KANJI
さっきまで躊躇してたのに
触れた程度で 揺れるココロ “愛”なんてばかばかしい
一つ経験が増えるたびに
「こんなはずじゃ」と悔やんだけど 染み付いて癖になる
全て委ねては知った もろい現実
撫でられても 重なっても
アタシはアタシしか信じない
なぞる歩道 曲がり角で 今夜誰かとフォークダンス
ぶらり さまよう街 孤独の歌をくちずさむ
擦れてないよ 綺麗すぎた 母ゆずりの名前さえも 忘れたのよ
帰る場所などないから ヒトリデイイ
纏った毛並みを整えて
甘い声と揺らす尻尾で 誘うのは“ヒマつぶし”
また一つ 嘘が増えた夜は
罪の意識と口答えを カクテルにして飲み干す
等しく持って生まれたはずの未来図
恨んでも 恨んでも
アタシはアタシでしかないから
雷雨に打たれ 排気にまみれ 見つけたアタシのスタンス
つたう雨粒が 涙をそっと紛らわす
アタシが今消えたとしても きっと誰も気づかないわ
いつかはどうせ一人になるんだし キラクデイイ
何度も繰り返した 悲劇のピリオド
少しずつ ひび割れたココロ
撒き散らす破片 そう、守るため 傷つくのはもう 辛いじゃない
誰ヒトリ これ以上 アタシのテリトリー越えないで
なぞる歩道 曲がり角で 通りすがりのフォークダンス
まぶしすぎる太陽 背を向け 今日も歩き出す
ガラスの靴 辿り いつか王子様が迎えに来ても
遅すぎたわ あいにくね アタシはもう ヒトリデイイ
