失格 (Shikkaku) – No right
from Shikkaku single + Golden Best 20th Anniversary album.
——
Words which I want to say, I can’t speak any of them
Things which I want to do, I can’t achieve any of them
Though I cry for myself, I can’t cry for others
I scream about principles and advocacy, but I have no courage to step out
Only the sick and infants lie sleeping in bed all day
I’m still too young to feel hatred towards anything
Words spoken by others don’t resonate within my heart
Can’t become a worthy girl full of brightness and energy
Always aware of others’ gazes on me, I can’t accept them
Can’t think of the boss’ opinion as necessary or right
Girls don’t just wait for kisses on a moonlit night
My cheap bed creaks noisily, and I sink into depression
I’m not in love, but I dream of embracing someone
With a snap, the pink rose petals split open and fall
The thing I treasure most is my meagre self
The thing which bothers me most is still, yes, my nonsensical self
I don’t care about protecting the ones I love, or anything else
But I dislike waiting alone in Shibuya at night
Umeda, Namba, Shinsaibashi, Motomachi, Nishinomiya
I used to love this city so much, but I’ve forgotten it now
I pretended to be Chaka Khan and sang
“Whatcha gonna do for me”
Shedding tears without any reason
“Whatcha gonna do for me”
I boast that I’d once lived in Okinawa
The strong sunlight there had left freckles on my face
I hurt, am hurt, distracting myself by making merry
Comforting a heartbroken friend, I somehow feel relieved
“You have no right!” I want someone to say that to me clearly
That I have no right to live that admired life
Ahh, I curl up into a ball in this town dyed red by sunset
They scold me, pile shame on me, but I used to walk on straight, yet…
Unable to sleep, I turn on the TV, smoke a cigarette, so miserable
I could cry over this unfair treatment, but the night is seeped into the cackling TV
When asked what my hobby is, I reply that I like to travel
Telling them of all the countries and times I’ve been, showing off
I want to put on an underhanded smile and chew upon a nail
Even if I trample on promises, I want to pretend to be a refined lady
Have you ever passed by those who had been hit by a car?
Have you ever seen those who are unhappy and laughed at them?
Don’t care if father dates a young woman
Want to ask mother about her new fiance
I want to become even more beautiful, to play even harder
I want to become even more serious, to learn even more
Looking back alone on this insignificant way of life
I want to love this self who grumbles about reason
——
Covered by:
Flower Companyz in Yozora no taiyou single.
——
ROOMAJI
Jibun no iitai koto wo watashi wa nanimo iwanai
Jibun no yaritai koto wo watashi wa nanimo dekinai
Jibun no tame ni naitemo hito no tame ni wa nakenai
Shugi shuchou wo sakende soto wo aruku yuuki nanka nai
Hinemosu beddo ni neteru no wa byounin ka akanbou
Nanimo kamo ga iya ni naru ni wa madamada waka sugiru
Dareka no shaberu kotoba de kokoro nante hazumanai
Akaruku genki dake ga torie no onna ni narenai
Tanin no shisen bakari ki ni shiteru hito wo mitomenai
Shachou no iken wa kanarazushi mo tadashiku omoenai
Tsukiyo ni itsumo onna wa kisu wo matteru wake ja nai
Yasui beddo wa kishimu oto ga urusakute ki ga meiru
Aishitenai no ni dakare hoka no hito wo yume miteru
Pachin to hajikete ochita pinku no bara no hanabira
Ichiban taisetsu na mono wa kono tonyoku na watashi
Ichiban yakkai na no mo sou detarame na watashi
Suki na hito ni hoka ni mamoru mono attemo kamawanai
Dakedo hitori yoru no shibuya de matsu no wa suki ja nai
Umeda nanba shinsaibashi motomachi nishinomiya
Anna ni suki datta machi mo mou tokku ni wasureta
Chaka kaan wo kidotte utatteta
“Whatcha gonna do for me ”
Imi mo shirazu namida wo nagashita
“Whatcha gonna do for me ”
Okinawa ni mo sunda koto ga aru to jimange ni hanasu
Tsuyoi hizashi ga nokoshita mono wa kaojuu no sobakasu
Kizutsuita kizutsuke rareta to sawaide usabarashi
Shitsuren shita tomodachi nagusame dokoka hotto shiteru
Anata wa shikkaku! Sou hakkiri iwaretai
Ikiru shikaku ga nai nante akogareteta ikikata
Aa akai yuuyake no machi de chiisana karada wo marumete
Shika raretemo haji wo kasanetemo massugu aruiteita no ni
Nemurezu ni terebi wo tsuke tabako wo sueba yarusenai
Hidoi shiuchi ni naita toshitemo yoru wa geragera terebi zuke
Shumi wa nan desu ka to kikarete ryokou nado to kotae
Gaikoku ni mo nandoka nante kakko tsukete miseru
Kosoku na egao ukabete yubisaki wo kandeitai
Yakusoku wo fumi tsuketemo iki na onna kidoritai
Kuruma ni hanerareta hito wo mi sugoshita koto ga aru kai?
Fushiawase na hito wo mite waratta koto ga nai kai?
Chichioya ni wakai onna itemo watashi wa kamawanai
Hahaoya ni betsu no iinazuke no hanashi wo kikitai
Motto kirei ni natte motto jouzu ni asobitai
Motto majime ni natte motto takusan manabitai
Tatta koreppocchi no ikizama wo hitori furi kaeri
Shinogo no rikutsu wo itteru watashi wo aishitai
——
KANJI
自分の言いたいことを私は何も言わない
自分のやりたいことを私は何もできない
自分の為に泣いても人の為には泣けない
主義・主張を叫んで外を歩く勇気なんかない
ひねもすベッドに寝てるのは病人か赤ん坊
何もかもが嫌になるにはまだまだ若すぎる
誰かの喋る言葉で心なんて弾まない
明るく元気だけが取り柄の女になれない
他人の視線ばかり気にしてる人を認めない
社長の意見は必ずしも正しく思えない
月夜にいつも女はキスを待ってる訳じゃない
安いベッドは軋む音がうるさくて気が滅入る
愛してないのに抱かれ他の人を夢見てる
パチンと弾けて落ちたピンクのバラの花びら
一番大切なものはこの貧欲な私
一番厄介なのもそうデタラメな私
好きな人に他に守るものあっても構わない
だけどひとり夜の渋谷で待つのは好きじゃない
梅田 なんば 心斎橋 元町 西ノ宮
あんなに好きだった街ももうとっくに忘れた
チャカ・カーンを気取って歌ってた
“Whatcha gonna do for me”
意味も知らず涙を流した
“Whatcha gonna do for me”
沖縄にも住んだことがあると自慢気に話す
強い日差しが残したものは顔中のソバカス
傷ついた傷つけられたと騒いで憂さ晴らし
失恋した友達慰めどこかホッとしてる
あなたは失格! そうはっきり言われたい
生きる資格がないなんて憧れてた生き方
あぁ 赤い夕焼けの町で小さな体を丸めて
叱られても 恥を重ねても まっすぐ歩いていたのに
眠れずにテレビをつけ煙草を吸えばやるせない
ひどい仕打ちに泣いたとしても夜はゲラゲラテレビ漬け
趣味は何ですかと聞かれて旅行などと答え
外国にも何度かなんて格好つけて見せる
姑息な笑顔浮かべて指先を噛んでいたい
約束を踏み付けても粋な女気取りたい
車にはねられた人を見過ごしたことがあるかい ?
ふしあわせな人を見て笑ったことがないかい ?
父親に若い女いても私は構わない
母親に別の許婚の話を聞きたい
もっときれいになってもっと上手に遊びたい
もっとまじめになってもっとたくさん学びたい
たったこれっぽっちの生きざまをひとり振り返り
四の五の理屈を言ってる私を愛したい
